I imagined a piece of flesh hanging from the ceiling In the blankness of the mind it fitted in right
How long has it been there?
It will take them days to realise Who will look for me, who will be the first one to find?
The train of thoughts was moving fast skipping all the junctions I pulled the chain and got off at some random location
Time to eat, the stomach said Will have to cook, said the mind The train consumed all the fuel, I can’t wake up, not even as much as to switch on the light
Let it be then both agreed It’s anyways not unbearable And what’s the point of throwing food First get accustomed to cooking for one person
Last night I broke into tears while laughing hysterically on a joke It’s no mood swings, not my periods Just the echo of my laugh that makes me choke
People ask me to ‘make’ friends Are they some craft? How do I make them? Or may be this is how it was always done? I just failed to learn the art, not even in decades
Now the blushing sky tells me the sun is almost here Then the knocking on my eyelids must be some sleep Take a nap before the train departs again And takes you on an endless journey of emotions like some forest deep.
I remember when it felt unbearable. The silence I yearned forever, Was distinctly audible. Is that how it feels being vulnerable? Tears rolling down everywhere, bedsheets, toilet, dining table.
‘But it’s good for you’, I told my reflection. ‘You are a big girl now, Stop craving for attention’ Sometimes being alone brings perfection. “You chose it for yourself why cry now?” Said someone for whom I had greatest affection.
So I began to wait to get used to it eventually. Like the first time I wore specs, Didn’t like them immediately. If it were a battle I would’ve fought courageously. But Ashoka seeks Buddha, When victory is celebrated regretfully.
Some affairs demand you yield. I know I will be called a loser, If ever, my secret is revealed. Yes I surrendered, I bowed down, I kneeled. For all I know and care about, Is the pain will slowly get healed.
You! yes you The black among the whites The lone star of dark nights, The tortoise in rabbits’ race Nah! Not the winner That’s not always the case.
You, who were too big to fit in the box So they chopped your ‘useless’ wings off, Now you look more like the other products To serve uniformity All of us have sacrificed a little bit of us.
For individuality stokes fear You did whatever kept you near, The flock of one’s who look like you But differences became stark The closer you drew.
Catching up, keeping up, living up to them Drained of all glitter, was once a shining gem. It’s an endless chase with no finish line It ends with you Either you decline or you resign.
No matter how much you try to fit in You have already committed the sin Of thinking apart, of having doubts. The road ahead is deserted yet, Regards, the odd one out.