I remember when it felt unbearable. The silence I yearned forever, Was distinctly audible. Is that how it feels being vulnerable? Tears rolling down everywhere, bedsheets, toilet, dining table.
‘But it’s good for you’, I told my reflection. ‘You are a big girl now, Stop craving for attention’ Sometimes being alone brings perfection. “You chose it for yourself why cry now?” Said someone for whom I had greatest affection.
So I began to wait to get used to it eventually. Like the first time I wore specs, Didn’t like them immediately. If it were a battle I would’ve fought courageously. But Ashoka seeks Buddha, When victory is celebrated regretfully.
Some affairs demand you yield. I know I will be called a loser, If ever, my secret is revealed. Yes I surrendered, I bowed down, I kneeled. For all I know and care about, Is the pain will slowly get healed.
Ever sipped a cup of tea slower than usual because the conversation over it turned very interesting and you wanted it to last longer ? Or perhaps walked down a lane that takes you barely 5 mins to cross on normal days, for 15 or say 20 mins because you were accompanied by your favourite person.
It’s not exaggeration if I say that– “In this fast moving world”- can be used as the opening phrase for most of the content nowadays as it is short, relevant and relatable. One of the few things consistent in the ever changing life of humans is the tendency to get things done faster than they were being done previously. Take a mobile phone for example, with every new launch “fast charging” facility is getting even “faster”. Progress is synonymous to speed and every new innovation aims at providing it and reducing the time we need to spend on completing tasks. But, what brings us joy needs our time.
All of us have wanted for games period to last longer than others and the crazy thing is that time always felt going faster during our favourite period. The same 45 mins that seemed to last ages during maths lecture (sorry maths lovers), ended in the blink of an eye when it was a free period. Indeed, time passes at its fixed interval, neither sooner nor later. It’s the amusement, the pleasure that makes us forget that time exists and we don’t even look at the watch like we do every 2-3 mins when something that doesn’t interest us is going on.
Remember how when we are excited for something, we avoid sleeping. Because sleeping makes time disappear without us even noticing it. Meanwhile a child who is going to meet his father after months will surely want to live through all the moments leading up to when he can finally hug his father. No doubt, we feel the joy of delay most distinctly when we’re in love. If you have ever made the night third wheel, then no one knows it better than you, your partner and the moon of course, how much you dreaded the alarm clock and the slight redness in the sky signifying the departure of moon.
As lovely the delay in the course of time feels when we are in love, as indispensable it seems when we are in a tough situation. From the panic over little things such as exams, where one or the other student is definitely seen asking the invigilator for 5 more mins, to actual life and death situations. Who wouldn’t want to spend some more time with an ailing family member whom we know for sure is departing the world very soon.
In a way, all of us are living in haste. Completing all the trivial tasks as soon as possible, so that when we find something that actually feels worth living for, we can dedicate all of our time to it. The futile hope of stretching time beyond its limit just to remain in the moment for some more time might be silly but those moments are what define us. The tasks we complete in haste are mostly same for everyone but what we want to live through longer, what we experience during that time makes us different and surely is very delightful.
Random Thoughts 