Posted on by Anamika

For the materialistic love of a “bed”

It was a very ordinary bed I swear. Pic credit: Creazilla

Have you ever been emotionally attached to a pen, a watch, a car, or just a handkerchief? If you are a human being I’m assuming, yes. Degree of attachment may differ from person to person but it’s nearly impossible for me to believe that there is a person in this world who has never been attached to his/her wordly possessions.

I started thinking about this after we bought a new double bed replacing the old one that was on the verge of breaking anytime. When I asked my mother how many years has the older bed been with us , she said, ” it’s as old as your brother”. You see, there, from that one phrase you can decipher the value of that bed. It is associated with the age of a human, the only son of a family. So this bed which has already celebrated its silver jubilee at our home is saying a goodbye now.

In these 25 years things have drastically changed in our lives and this is the thing with these non- living items; they don’t change but they witness change. There was a time when me, my elder brother and sister, and my mother used to sleep on the same bed. Time flew by, we grew, but the bed remained the same, and we kept growing till the bed could accommodate just me and my sister. That bed has changed houses with us after we came to the city. It was one of the few items we had when we shifted to our own home. I remember when me and my brother hid under the bed and as soon as my sister walked in the room my brother suddenly held her leg, scaring her out of her wits. As a kid, laying down under the bed is such a comfortable thing to do. The new one doesn’t have space for anyone to hide, since it has storage boxes. The manufacturers know that with increasing income, space decreases.

I wonder if I would’ve felt all the emotions I am feeling right now if I was still a kid. As we grow older, the sheer happiness and excitement of anything new is replaced by lamentation and reminiscence over the old. The amount of memories with that motion, as well as emotion less piece of wood are immeasurable. All three of us siblings have studied on that bed leaving the study table to eat dust in one corner of the room. A bed is anyways a very dear item as it is associated with rest. The sleep you get at your home in your bed, even the super comfy Five Star hotel beds fail to deliver that. My mother used to call it our ‘nest’.

All of this sounds extremely futile right? Why be sentimental over a damn bed and write paragraphs about it? Every religion, every philosophy of life asks us to not get attached to anything in this world, not even human beings, not even the ones we have blood relation with. The world itself, which includes everything biotic or abiotic is called ‘materialistic’. The reason behind this is to make your departure from this world easier. But if there is one thing that makes us human more than anything else, it’s being helpless with regards to certain things. Nostalgia, is an emotion, in my opinion, reserved only for us. Or maybe animals too feel nostalgic, they just fail to express it.

Surely there is a difference between a moment of attachment and obsession. Attachments might get you in trouble in afterlife but obsession hurts you in this very own life. Now, I have no idea how to end this blog, all I can say is that as long as we live we will get attached to objects or people around us, might even obsess over certain things because more than a sin or stupidity, it is frail humanity.

Posted on by Anamika

Unsaid

Pic credit : Google

The crumpled sheet of paper beneath my bed, the message in my drafts the words unsaid.

All of them are so special, the uncertainty they hold, plus endless speculation.

I can’t help but think of your reaction, would you have rejected or reciprocated my affection?

The dots following a sentence are not useless afterall…. words are waiting at the tip of my pen, I’m not letting them fall.

Posted on by Anamika

Happy Together (1997): That one scene

A still from Happy Together

I just finished watching Happy Together. It’s a 1997 Hong Kong movie directed by, Wong Kar-wai, one of the most celebrated asian directors of all time. Wong Kar- wai’s movies are characterized by a captivating background score, and a vivid cinematography including bold colour, lightning and framing choices. Such distinct is the cinematography in Wong’s movies that when a character wonders what Hong Kong looks like upside down, he shows an actual shot of Hong Kong upside down. While I don’t deem myself fit for reviewing Wong’s work, I would like to talk about this particular scene from Happy Together, that I really liked.

Happy Together, starring Tony Leung and Leslie Cheung is the story of a gay couple, living away from home, whose already contentious relationship slowly becomes abusive. Lai Yiu-Fai (Tony Leung) and Ho Po-Wing (Leslie Cheung) break up and then reconcile several times. It is a romantic drama, it’s also a story of loneliness, longing for home and family and a lot more.

This one particular scene that grabbed my attention is the scene when Ho and Lai have already broken up but they meet each other again, under not-so favourable circumstances. Ho is broke and needs money. He asks Lai to return the watch he had previously given to Lai. Afterwards Ho asks for cigarette. Lai gives him a pack; but they don’t have lighter. Lai Yiu-Fai, who is already smoking, offers his cigarette to Ho Po-Wing as a lighter. Instead of just taking the cigarette, Ho Po-Wing holds Lai’s hand and lights up his cigarette while looking intently at Lai’s face. The whole scene in black and white gives off a sexually tense aura while still keeping it romantic. The scene ends with Lai Yiu-Fai asking Ho to never look for him again and leaving.

The chemistry between the actors, plus the point of the plot where they are, at which, everything is not over and yet there is uncertainty regarding the emotions that remain. Lai is trying his best to not look at Ho’s face as if he is afraid that he will fall for Ho’s ‘let’s start over’, again for the nth time. Ho’s subtle advance towards their reconciliation and Lai’s restraint makes this scene very memorable. Undoubtedly, smoking has been used in movies as a sensual or glamorous element, but the simplicity of this scene is unique to itself.

Although I have a lot more to say about the movie; from increasing saturation level throughout the movie to dialogues like, “Lonely people are all the same”, it will take another blog to talk about it all. So if you like artistic cinema, it’s never too late to dive into Wong Kar-wai’s work.

Posted on by Anamika

A late new year post

This blog is a testimony that I have already broken my new year resolution, which was to post something here on every first and fifteenth of the month. Anyways, it took me some time to realise what actually is the significance of a new year? Why is the changing of a digit in the year column of the date or the replacement of a calendar so important to us? It doesn’t matter if you celebrate New Year or not. You cannot deny the fact that the new years eve has you reflecting on the past year and making plans for the next year.

The sole reason for this is the fallible nature of humans. Every one has failures and everyone commits mistakes. Thus, we are always looking for chances to make a fresh start. A new year gives us that chance or atleast a sense of starting anew. The hope of doing better in the coming year is what makes us celebrate its arrival.

Now, one may ask why don’t we celebrate a new month then? Honestly I don’t know. I am not a philosopher. All I can say is perhaps the burden of mistakes or disappointments not accumulated enough in a month to make us look for something new. Perhaps we still feel like we can handle it and put everything in the right place. But a year is a long time. It is long enough to make you tired and give up. And that is what makes the new year so significant.

Perhaps the tons of messages and greetings we receive on 1st January, comparing it to the rays of the morning sun or new blossom or the first page of a diary, albeit annoying, not wholly wrong. Everyone deserves to choose when they want to start their race against the odds of life. If they deem the start of a new year to be fit, so be it.

That being said, I would try to start my race from now on and probably keep my new year resolution too.

Posted on by Anamika

IT’S NOT MOTHER’S DAY

Pic credit: Clipart Library

It’s not Mother’s day, still I feel like writing about my mother. When was the last time I wanted to write something about her? Like the urge to let out everything on paper, or type it, when you witness something unusual or just a beautiful experience like- first love. Honestly, never. Twenty one years of my life and the only time I wrote something for my mother was a poem on ‘Mother’s Day, because I had to post it on my newly created blogging account. You know Mother’s Day tags are very popular on social media and help you gain followers. That’s all my selfish self thought about while writing that poem.

But right now, all I am seeing beyond the roof of my train, taking me on a new life journey, is my mother’s face waving me good bye. That’s the face she makes when she is scared, when she is praying for everything to be alright and that’s the face she makes when she is trying to hold her tears in. She probably cried after I left.

How strange are mothers, how indecipherable. Is womanhood related to motherhood? And why is the relationship between a daughter and mother so complicated? These questions have been on my mind for a few days now. I remember reading Anne Frank’s ‘ The Diary of a Young Girl’ in 10th standard and as a teenager, feeling connected with everything Anne wrote about the incompatible and dissimilar personalities of her and her mother. It felt relatable to me, as me and my mother also have totally different personalities. I believe almost every teenage girl must have felt connected to Anne Frank’s emotions because at that age it is normal to feel hostile towards anyone becoming a hindrance to your freedom or atleast what you perceive to be freedom. Especially in the case of women, when, as a girl, you see your mother at the same place as you in the patriarchal society, you expect her to stand by you in every situation that makes you feel discriminated as a woman. But the generation gap is too big to let your mother think the way you do. She has already accepted the position, the role assigned to her in this society, regardless of how unfair it may be. Thus, the disappointed following your expectations not being met is what leads to conflicts in relationship.

It feels so strange that I don’t even want to mention what the new journey is, that I talked about earlier. It really doesn’t matter. All I am thinking right now is how my mother, who hates walking beyond our residential colony, walked herself to the market, which is around a kilometre away from our house, just because she wanted to buy something for me. Something bought from her own money that she had saved, something, just something from her side. It’s always the littlest things that she does which makes me emotional.

This is probably the messiest blog I have written till date. Some people might even ask why am I being so dramatic at the big age of 21? But I just couldn’t help. I had to write it down, I had to let it out. Just like, now that I am in the train, far away from my mother’s sight, I can finally stop choking on my tears, and let them freely roll down my cheeks.

Posted on by Anamika

The fear of being alone

When the sunrays say it’s too late and leave me ony own
Hands grow cold on a summer night
For of all the fears I fear being left alone.

What is a garden if it is made up of rocks
It’s just a dead crowd
With no one to listen, no one to talk.

I asked my vulnerabilities, are they leaving too?
They loathe selfishness, they won’t leave me alone
They are here till the end, to walk me home.

Posted on by Anamika

A proposal

Pic credit: Depositphotos

They were walking side by side, followed by a cold breeze. The streets were almost empty but they didn’t realise it as, at this moment, they were feeling each other’s company more than ever. Both of them knew that this was the time, it had to
be said now. But who will go first?

“I… wanted to say something, actually wanted to ask something” said the girl.

“Yeah…sure, what is it?” Asked he, albeit surprised, as he was pretty much confident that he would be the one to ask her, for, among them he was definitely the talkative one.

She stopped walking and turned towards him. Now they were face to face. Nervously, looking down, as if reading something from her shoes, she started saying, “Have you seen those instagram posts, very bland, nothing distinct about them or we can call them not so aesthetic… But sometimes they have these long ass captions, which are actually very thoughtful, very deep. People scroll past them.” She finally looked him into the eyes, and asked “I’m kinda like those long captions. Would you like to read me more?”

It took a moment for the proposal to strike him. But as soon as it did, he smiled, as if shying away for falling in love once again with the same person. With great conviction in his eyes, and as much love as possible, he held her hand and said, “Of course, I am an avid reader.”

Posted on by Anamika · 3 Comments

That one teacher…

Pic credit: PhotoDune

I was cleaning up my cupboard, of course after ages, and stumbled upon a file that I made in 6th standard for my Hindi assignment. Struck by nostalgia, I started turning its pages and realised that a few things just never change. One of them being my awful handwriting. Anyways, we were supposed to write five Hindi poems; apart from the ones that we had in our syllabus.

First three poems were common poems for children including my all time favourite, Phoolon se tum hasna seekho, bhawaron se tum gaana. I still remember this poem whole heartedly. The fourth poem had a rather mature writing style, with a sophisticated vocabulary. Beneath the poem was written the name of the poet; Vardaan by Rabindranath Tagore. Although, all these poems were very different from each other, one thing was common throughout the pages of the file so far; the remarks. My teacher had given a “good” for every poem. For the last poem though, was a “very good”. Whose poem was this?

I started reading it. It was a poem on water. But, I couldn’t finish it. I stopped reading it midway. It was bad, very childish and cringeworthy. There was no need to look for the poet because I knew, I had written it. Just what was I thinking? It was my first ever poem, and just terrible. The struggle to rhyme the last word of each sentence was almost peeping out of the page, looking me into the eyes and laughing hysterically. But still, my teacher had thought this poem deserved a “very good”.

Now that I think about it, what would have happened, forget a bad remark, if there was no remark at all. My first poem would certainly have been my last poem as well. For a 12 year old child that bland poem was her best effort, and she must have been looking forward to some sort of appreciation. That “very good” was the much needed appreciation for me back then. It’s not like I am a renowned poet now or something. I rarely write poems, and yes, I still struggle to rhyme words. But, what could have been the end became the beginning just because of a simple remark. And it is also true that two of the most liked posts on this site are my poems.

All of us have that one teacher in our lives who teaches us something so valuable that it takes us years to fathom its worth. Whether it is a classroom lecture, a remark on an assignment file or even a scolding, there is a teacher who teaches you lessons beyond the school curriculum. He was “that” teacher to me. He used to teach us Hindi, Sanskrit and everything out of syllabus. When we read the classic Andher Nagari play, he actually made us act it out in the class, saying that, “who knows, one of you might become an actor”. As peculiar were his ways of teaching, as abrupt was his departure from school. He just left the school one day and since then I haven’t had any contact with him.

His single remark encouraged me for writing at a time when even I didn’t knew I could do it. I wish I could meet him at least one more time. He might not recognize me, for he had many students. But I remember him, because he was that one teacher to me, whom I genuinely want to say to, “Thank you, Sir”.

Posted on by Anamika · 1 Comment

When the Pope divided the world into two

In 1917 the British government issued the Balfour declaration, promising the establishment of a national home in Palestine for Jewish people. A year back they had secretly promised the French that they would divide the Arab teritorries and that the Brits would keep Palestine. Going back another year the British had an agreement with the ruler of Mecca that he would rule Palestine if he led a revolt against the Ottomans, which he promptly did. All of this happened before the Ottomans were defeated in the First World War, which means that the Brits promised a land, which technically didn’t even belong to them, to three people including themselves.

Spanish and Portugal Empires in the 15th century.
Pic credit: Google

There are several instances in history when a country has claimed a land which they were not inhabitants of. Hundereds of years ago, even before the rise of Britain, as a superpower, two countries were fighting to claim the lands which they newly discovered and one person tried to resolve this conflict by dividing the ‘New World’ between these two countries. It was the Pope. 15th century was marked by great expeditions

15th century was the beginning of the Age of Discoveries. Europe was finally out of the shadows of the crusades, into the Renaissance period, rediscovering it’s culture, art and philosophy. During this time two of the most powerful European empires, Portugal and Spain were taking the lead in discovering new sea routes to map the world. One of the reasons for so many voyages in the 15th century was out of curiosity to discover new lands or to ascertain the fact that the earth was round. But, another important reason was trade. With several stories from travellers like Marco Polo about huge amount of wealth in the east, western Europe was now trying to find a sea route round the African continent to reach Asia. Although trading between Europe and Asia wasn’t a new thing, but with Constantinople, Egypt and most of the Middle East under the Ottomans, the land route became pretty difficult.

So, the Portuguese tried to go east and Spain which was a Christian empire under King Ferdinand of Aragon and Queen Isabella of Castile, went towards the west. A major victory for the Portuguese came in the year 1446 with the discovery of Cape Verde, which is an archipelago in the Atlantic Ocean and also the westernmost point of Africa. This was the discovery that made people believe that they would be able to reach India, if they were able to go round Africa.

Cabo Verde also called Cape Verde.

Portuguese and Spainiards were doing there separate voyages pretty smoothly, till 1493, when Christopher Columbus returned from his American exploration. He was a Italian explorer who wanted to find a route to the East Indies particularly the Spice Islands (Indonesian archipelago), through sailing west. He first went to King John II of Portugal to sponsor his voyage but the King refused him. Finally it were the Spanish monarchs Ferdinand and Isabella who sponsored his voyage. Though Columbus did discover new land, or shall we say new for Europe, because the land was already inhabited by people, it wasn’t the East Indies which he intended to go to. He landed at Bahamas, one of the islands in the West Indies.

Upon his return, Portugal and Spain entered into conflict to claim the newly discovered land. King John II sent a threatening letter to the Spanish Monarchs, reminding them of the Treaty of Alcáçovas signed in 1479 that granted all lands south of the Canary Islands to Portugal. The Spanish Monarchs knew that they would not be able to match the Portuguese in terms of military power, so they found a diplomatic way out of this conflict. This is where the Pope comes into the scene.

Line of Demarcation (1493) and the new meridian after Treaty of Tordesillas (1494) Pic Credit: Google

The Catholic Monarchs, Ferdinand and Isabella reached Pope Alexander VI, who himself was of spanish descent, to issue a papal bull– a public decree– called Inter caetera. This bull granted all the lands west of a pole-to-pole line 100 leagues( about 300 miles) west of any of the islands of the Azores or the Cape Verde to Spain. This was called the Line of Demarcation. The bull did not mention anything of the Portugal lands, which made the Portuguese King quite unpleased. In order gain rights over the lands east to the Line of Demarcation the Portuguese King started negotiations with the Catholic Monarchs. Funnily enough, the next year, that is in 1494 the Treaty of Tordesillas was signed between Portugal and the Spanish Crown to move the Line of Demarcation 270 leagues west, without even consulting the Pope. It is bewildering to think that actual land, home to millions of people, was getting divided between two foreign empires like a piece of cake.

All these bulls issued by the Pope or the treaties signed between empires dividing the world might be just an interesting piece of history to ponder over now. But back in the day they were actually setting the stage for colonisation of these “undiscovered” lands.

Posted on by Anamika

Legend of the Wandering Lake

A picture of Lop Nur dried basin acquired on October 28, 2001 by NASA Earth Observatory.

Marco Polo, the thirteenth century Venetian merchant, crossed the Lop Desert in Xinjiang Uyghur Autonomous region of China, on his way to meet the Great Khan of the Mongol Empire, Kublai Khan. Marco, in his travel records, describes the desert as inhabited by spirits. He says, “when travellers are on the move by night, and one of them chances to lag behind or to fall asleep, when he tries to gain his company again he will hear spirits talking, and will suppose them to be his comrades. And in this way many have perished.”

The Lop Desert and the bigger Taklamakan Desert spread westward to the Lop city was part of the famous Silk Road. Thus, many travellers including the famous Chinese travellers Faxian and Hiuen Tsang crossed the Lop Desert on their journey to India. Apart from being part of the Silk Road there are many other interesting things about this desert. One of them is the Lop Nur lake, also known as the Wandering Lake. Since the area is dominated by endless desert a water body in the middle of it is already a point of interest.

But this lake doesn’t seem to greet every traveller going past the desert. Some ancient merchants/travellers have mentioned about a salty lake in their travel records, but some didn’t. Marco Polo, for example, didn’t mention any lake. Later explorers suggest that the reason Marco didn’t mention any lake in his travel records was because he probably didn’t see any lake. But, how is that possible? Hundreds of years ago people travelling through a desert will definitely look for a water body, especially when the vast Gobi desert awaits you, if you are travelling to China. Going through the same route, the travellers must have met Lop Nur, unless the lake was wandering/ changing its position.

Imperial maps from the 17th century, Qing Dynasty show the lake at the same position as the present day Lop Nur dried basin. But, Nikolay Przhevalsky, a Russian geographer on his expedition to central Asia in 1867 found the lake at Kara– Koshun, which is south west to the lake’s current position.
Sven Hedin, a Swedish explorer and geographer, went on an expedition to the Tarim river basin, in 1900-1901. In 1937, he published a book, entitled The Wandering Lake, documenting his journey to the Tarim basin and explaining why and how the Lop Nur changed its position.

Pic: Wikipedia. Map of Lop Nur by Folke Bergman, a Swedish explorer, 1935.

The Tarim basin in an endorheic basin, spread across more than a million square kilometres and dominated mostly by the Taklamakan Desert. An endorheic basin system is one which doesn’t allow outflow of water to external water bodies, such as rivers or oceans. They are landbound and water is instead drained into lakes or swamps which equilibrate through evaporation. Within the Tarim basin is located the Lop Nur Lake, a terminal lake with no natural outlet for the water accumulating in it through the Tarim river. Here comes the tricky part. It’s not actually the lake changing its position but the Tarim river changing its course. Rivers tend to change their course over the time, due to sediment deposition. Since, Tarim river is the major source of water for Lop Nur, when the river changes its course the terminal lake changes its position too. This resulted in Lop Nur altering its location between the Lop Nur dried basin, the Kara-Koshun dried basin and the Taitema Lake basin.

Lop Nor, also called the “the heart of the heart” of Asia, doesn’t exist anymore. It has dried up mostly due to climate change, human settlements and nuclear testings. But this wonder of nature was once the only friend of faraway travellers amidst boundless desert and had surely tricked many of them too because of its wanderings.